In the mood to write…

But have nothing to say.

I mean, I suppose I always have something to say. But I don’t have anything important or of any real meaning to say.

It’s quite cold here right now. Pippin was outside all day. I was a bit worried coming home because boy, it was truly cold, but he seems okay. Granted, he is curled up by my feet right now, under my blanket.

I really think I should buy myself some winter tires, or at least myself new all season tires. But they’re expensive. Costco’s cheapest is around $100 a tire. Boo. Sooner or later I’m gonna have to fork over the money because I don’t want to get into another accident like I did last winter. That cost me a bit over $10000 so I suppose $400 is worth it.

I got a postcard from my cousin in the mail a couple days ago. So nice to get a postcard from him! He’s such a great person, I wish I could see him more often. He truly is a brother to me.

Also, I finally got a new phone! I bought a Nexus 5 from Google. I LOVE having a working phone. For the past couple of weeks, my old phone’s touch screen lost all function. It was horrendous. Absolutely horrendous and something that bugged me and annoyed me and made me dislike my phone service company (although technically they weren’t the ones that sold me the phone). But I’m happy again. I have a touchscreen that works which means I can make calls, answer calls, and, since it’s a more recent smartphone, I can add apps and actually do stuff! Yay for new phones.

I don’t like the dark

It’s that time of year again where, for six months (possibly longer) I will be driving home from work in the dark.

Bleh.

I don’t like this time of year. Well, I don’t like the beginning of it at least. I absolutely hate it. I complain. A lot. And then Gene gets annoyed cause I’m saying the same thing over and over, just in slightly different ways. But I can’t help it! I really don’t like the dark.

I just plain don’t like it. It makes me feel like it’s late and I need to go to bed. And I don’t want to feel that way.

I drove home today at 5:30 and it felt like 7:30 and it was stinky.

I have come to realize though, that I’m going to complain about the weather/temperature no matter if it’s warm or cold. I can’t seem to be happy. When it’s winter I want the summer, when it’s summer I want it to be colder (note: still not winter). I guess with that realization I should perhaps work on not complaining as much. Because complaining really isn’t very flattering. And it’s quite annoying to the other parties involved….

Sorry guys, but I had to rant! ;)

 

I HATE THE DARK

Rant on make-up/fashion/hair

Generally, I don’t put on make-up, wear fashionable clothes, or put much effort into my hair. But sometimes, I get into these moods where I wish I did all those things and that I did them well.
I’ve never really been into make-up, but I used to wear some almost everyday.I used to straighten my hair on a regular basis. And every so often I’d try to dress what I considered fashionable.
Then I met Gene. He helped me realize that I don’t need make-up to be pretty. So at some point some years back, I just stopped wearing it everyday. Now I go months without putting even mascara or powder on. It’s a great time saver and perfect for the lazy person that I’ve become. I want to sleep in as much as possible before having to get up for work and doing make-up and my hair would mean I’d have to get up earlier. So it’s worked out well for me that I don’t do those things.
And yet, I still have those times when I wish I did my make up and I wish I had “nicer” clothes and I wish my hair would just freaking cooperate. I struggle because I feel like I only have these desires because of media and social queues. And that makes me angry because I don’t think any female should feel the need to wear make up or high heels or whatever every day to feel beautiful.
And it makes me angry at myself for wanting to dress up or put on eyeshadow. By doing that, I’m part of the problem. I’m helping enforce in little girls’ minds that you need to do these things. And you don’t!
In the end, I usually ignore the impulse to put on make up or buy new clothes. I don’t have much spending money and I find that make up and clothes cost more than I’m willing to spend. I don’t really like shopping that often either so that helps prevent me from purchasing those kinds of items.
But I still struggle with what to do. I hate that at times I feel like I would be prettier with make up on. I hate that because that thought is ridiculous. It should not be a thought that I have. But there it is.
Is it wrong to wear make-up? No. If you enjoy it and don’t mind doing it and it makes you feel better, go for it. But I don’t think women or men should wear make up solely because they think it makes them look better.
Now when I put on make-up, I feel slightly guilty. I feel that a part of me is betraying girls and women. I feel like I’m betraying myself, that I’m telling myself I’m not beautiful.
I think what I’m trying to say in this blog is that I have conflicting feelings and that although the “non make-up” side has won so far, what will happen if the “make-up” side wins one day? Will that change me?
I’m probably thinking too much into this. If you want to wear make-up, go for it. If you don’t want to wear make-up, go for it. Whatever you do, I hope that you are confident in yourself and love yourself.
/end crazy cheesy rant

Hanging out with my sister

I had Monday and Tuesday ff from work for fall break. It was generally quite nice to get the days off, although both days I checked my email multiple times and did a bit of work. Even days off and I can’t get away. Am I becoming a workaholic? I never thought I’d be like that!

Anyways, on Tuesday I got to hang out with my sister, Kaitlin! We ended up going to Dinosaur Ridge and walked the whole paved path this time (last time it started raining on us so we ended up leaving shortly after we arrived). Next time we’ll have to go on the dirt trail as well. Or go to a new hiking location!

We went into the gift shop for a bit. I thought it was a museum so I was disappointed when there were just a few museum-type things. But Kaitlin found some cool items in the store to look at, so that was fun. Going in there made me think how much we would have loved it when we were kids. We would have wanted to buy many of the things in there.

After the gift shop we went on the path and saw some gorgeous rocks, dinosaur bones, and fossils. We also saw some lovely views of Colorado and Red Rocks.

I’m so glad we were able to hang out. She lives 40 minutes away from me so we don’t see each other very often. Although Colorado isn’t the largest state, the cities are definitely spread out. Or, there are at least so many of them that it seems that way. With me not getting home  until 6 every day, it makes seeing each other during the week a bit difficult. So this was a nice treat!

My second room

Gene and I went to my parents’ house this weekend. For a month or so now, my mom has been planning what our room at her house will look like (as well as Kaitlin and Kevin’s room). This was the weekend that we started to set everything up and decorate. I really should have taken before pictures but didn’t think about it so you’ll just have to imagine a room with a bed and  a dresser. At the end of the weekend, mine and Gene’s bedroom looked something like this:

P1070268Isn’t it beautiful?! Together my mom and I picked out the majority of items in this room. I feel like it’s so peaceful and serene. Not to mention it’s way nicer than my actual bedroom. The room has a few more additions and changes but I didn’t get any pictures right before I left (when the changes were made) so those will have to happen another day.

P1070270

I really like the vase that my mom made. It’s just so cute and the flowers are perfect.

P1070272

My mom also put together the two pictures you see above. I picked out the three pictures in the large frame and she ended up printing them out, finding a frame, and painting the mat! She did so much work on my room, I’m very impressed and grateful. I know it took a lot of time.

P1070274I absolutely LOVE this saying. My mom found it and put it on a picture that I had taken in Grand Lake, Colorado. How awesome is that?! It’s now hanging near my light switch.

P1070275

My mom ALSO made this awesome tray. She painted it, put in the blue paper, and found all these cute items to put on it. This tray is one of my favorite parts of the room (although at this point I think the majority of items in my room are my favorites). Look how adorable it is!

Everything just goes so well together. My mom has always been so good at decorating, especially when she has a theme in mind. My theme was blue, gray, and yellow as well as a bit of Mediterranean. I’m so glad she took the time and put in the effort to make my room so special and inviting. I can’t to see it again!

P1070266

And we can’t forget Gene who helped build the bench at the end of the bed as well as one of the bedside tables. He didn’t complain once and was very gung-ho about getting it done. Thanks Gene, you were great too!

 

Pippin caught another mouse

As I pulled back the shower curtain this evening to get out of the tub, I saw Pippin playing with something brown in the bathroom. He stepped away from it for a moment and lo and behold it was a dead mouse. Oh my gosh. I started screaming at Gene that there was a dead mouse in the bathroom. I admit, I did overreact a bit, especially since I was pretty safe in the bathtub, but boy was it shocking.

It was especially shocking because Pippin hadn’t been outside since I came home so it meant he hid the mouse somewhere. As Gene so nicely put it, “that’s the problem with letting him come and go during the day.” Well gosh darnit, he’s so much happier being outside but I want to make sure he can come in to use the bathroom and get food and water. I didn’t quite realize this was part of having a cat. I’m super proud of him for possibly killing it (granted, it could have been the other outdoor cat), but golly I wish he hadn’t brought it in. Thank goodness for Gene who grabbed a paper towel and disposed of it for me.

That was my adventure for the day and boy was it enough!

It’s time again?

I think it may be time I start writing again.

Anytime I thought about writing a blog post, I got this feeling like I was fake, like my writing would be inauthentic. My guess is the feeling came from finishing the one year of posting. It may not make much sense, but there it is. I was also just really lacking in motivation or inspiration.
But for the past week or so I’ve been wanting to write again. I’ve been getting the itch to type something. I wasn’t sure I was going to write a “where I was” post but here I am. Hopefully these posts will be few and far between and I can start writing good quality stuff again. Or at least, something more interesting than this.
I’m doing pretty well right now in my life. I’m not as stressed as I was back in August. August was a really rough month for me where I was anxious, depressed, or stressed every single day. It built up until I had a bit of a burst and ended up having an honest conversation with my supervisor. After that work has been much better for me and way more manageable. I still get stressed sometimes and am trying to figure out how to manage that, but it’s not nearly as frequent or as intense at it was.
Pippin seems to be growing slightly more mature. He’s not as insane as he used to be, although he does still have his moments. He’s such a cutie, I’m really falling in love with the little guy. He cuddles with me each night from around 6AM to when I get up. Although it is sweet, sometimes it gets tiring because he can’t keep still and he continues to walk back and forth over me. This morning he stepped on my throat and stopped my breathing for a second. What am I going to do with him?!
The only other thing that’s major in my life right now is that my grandpa isn’t doing well, health-wise. No one can predict the future, but knowing that he will die one day is very saddening. I know death is a normal thing and an inevitable thing, but when it’s so close to me, it’s quite sad. My mom will be going to visit in November and staying for as long as she is needed. That at least will be a good thing for my grandparents I think.
So that’s it I suppose. I’m not promising anything because I can’t seem to get myself to that point quite yet, but I do want to write more. I’m still alive, overall I’m doing really well, and I want to spread happiness and my random thoughts to the world again. Here’s to the future!